My Handy Teenage Phrasebook

I've taken the time to compile this highly obvious guide to teenage speak. No need to thank me for my findings.


I know
I don't know and now I'm annoyed you've told me

I'll do it later
I have no intention of doing it later

I haven't got much homework
I've got loads of homework

I can't find it
I've not looked for it

I've tidied my room
I've put everything on the bed and covered it with the duvet

I'm watching telly in my room
I'm experimentally watching porn

I'm doing my homework
I'm experimentally watching porn

My homework doesn't have to be in for two weeks
It's got to be handed in tomorrow and I haven't even started yet 

But I had a shower yesterday
Showering every day? Are you mad?

Yes
No

No
Yes

I walked the dog all round the meadow like you said
I sat on the first bench, got my phone out and checked Facebook for a bit

But this is clean on
I've been wearing the same top for the last two weeks

I got myself a salad baguette for lunch
I had chips

I'm going to have something to eat
I'm going to eat the entire contents of the kitchen/fridge/freezer and then have an extra snack afterwards

I've emptied the dishwasher
I've put everything away in the wrong place


That's all I can think of for now. Feel free to add your own.


Have a picture of a view from August 2010. (wedding holiday)