Last week I misplaced an important document that I thought I had put in a safe place. I'd obviously put it in a very safe place because I couldn't find it anywhere.  I needed a national insurance number. I decided it would be fine because I could call HM Revenue and Customs and get a copy of the document sent out to me. I went online to find the appropriate phone number and I called. It was a terrible automated service. After I'd pressed 1 for help, 2 for lost national insurance numbers and 3 for a nervous breakdown I was advised to do it online. When I got online again it advised me to do it on the phone because the online service was unavailable.

It was a vicious circle and when I phoned up again the stupid automated woman wasn't prepared to listen. She kept trying to tell me what to say. I managed to record the phone 'conversation' with that stupid, annoying automated phone woman. Eventually I printed out the documents and sent in a request by good old fashioned post. That was two weeks ago though and I've still not received it.

It is lucky then that after an hour after having a nervous breakdown trying to sort out getting a copy, I found the document on the top of a pile of papers I'd already rifled through four times.

Here is the conversation.